You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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