Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
