At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
