At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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