You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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