Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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