Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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