So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
