i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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