Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
