I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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