I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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