We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
