mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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