Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
