I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
