and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
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You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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