there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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