Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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