you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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