Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
