Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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