Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize