She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize