soooo we both peed the bed last night...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
