remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Two words: nipple clamps
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