whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have tasted many bathrooms
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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