If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
