I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize