I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
