You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
zippers are such a cool invention
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
two words...techno handjob
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
