He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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