So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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