I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize