Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize