Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
