guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're a waste of cheezeits
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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