my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
