it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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