I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My ass is underappreciated
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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