So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
