He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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