Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
