So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
