Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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