Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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