We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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