You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
