she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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