I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I did not marry a roomba.
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