I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
