Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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