I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
