doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
