Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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