This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
