I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
