Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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